Seven Years of Marriage I Sent Myself to the Crematorium - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I set down my luggage and gazed through the floor–to–ceiling window at the sky. It was the first time in ages I’d felt this kind of peace. The driver kept glancing at me as if I looked familiar to him.

I gave him a faint smile. “People often say I resemble the actress Lila Hayes. Maybe that’s why.”

He gave me an apologetic smile, then drove off. Pulling my mask tighter, I walked briskly toward the place I had booked in advance. It was the only spot I could think of to settle for now.

The rime forest in Elmspeak Mountain, where I would spend the winter as a forest ranger. From this moment on, every trace of Lila would disappear. No one would ever be able to find me through my former identity.

When Asher heard the news, it was as if a lightning bolt had struck him. He couldn’t. even control the volume of his voice. “What did you say? Say it again!”

When the answer was confirmed, Asher bolted toward the Whitman Villa.

Serena grabbed the back of his coat, concerned. “Don’t run so fast! Maybe it’s not as bad as you think.”

But Asher only shot her a furious glare, slapped her hand away, and ran away without looking back. For the first time, he left Serena standing there, alone.

Asher felt like his heart was being roasted over a fire right now. He never imagined that Lila would end her life and leave him so decisively. They were supposed to move past the seven–year itch together. Asher thought, “Why would she give up like this?” 

The distance to the villa was several miles, but Asher ran the whole way. By the time he arrived, all he could see was a charred ruin.

Asher sneered, “And what does this prove? That Lila died in the fire? How like statues? Go find her!”

The butler hesitated before speaking gently, “Mr. Whitman, Mrs. Whitman left behind a letter. She really didn’t want to live anymore. She set the house ablaze with gasoline. We’ve managed to get the fire under control, but we may not be able to find her remains.”

With that, the butler handed Asher the letter Lila had left behind.

But Asher didn’t even glance at the letter. He crumpled it into a ball, veins bulging on his forehead, ready to toss it aside in a rage. However, he couldn’t bring himself to do it in the end.

Asher refused to believe it. He refused to accept that his wife had vanished from his life, never to be seen again. “Search for her! You have to! Find Lila!”

The butler watched Asher’s profile. Although Asher appeared calm, the tremble in his hands betrayed the truth. Asher was on the verge of breaking.

The butler couldn’t understand. He thought, “Mr. and Mrs. Whitman always seemed so deeply in love. Why would Mrs. Whitman take such a drastic step? What could Mr. Whitman have possibly done to drive her to such despair?”

Asher didn’t understand either. After seven years together, he had grown used to coming home and pulling his soft, sweet–smelling wife into his arms as soon as he walked through the door.

Lila wasn’t the distant, aloof type. She was warm and radiant like spring sunshine breaking through winter. Especially when she smiled, it was like the first days of spring, bringing everything to life again.

Lila sometimes protested softly, teasing him for being as clingy as a child. But in the end, she always indulged him.

Lila rarely expressed her love directly. Yet no matter what Asher said, she would believe him, unwavering in her trust.

Even when it came to Lila’s career and dreams, she occasionally made compromises because of his offhand comment.

Asher had foolishly assumed Lila loved him so much that she could never leave him. But the harsh reality before him left no room for denial. Lila was truly gone. For the past seven years, there had always been a warm woman in his arms, holding him as they slept.

There was one thing Asher had never told Lila. He had suffered from insomnia for as long as he could remember. Ever since he was a child, he could only manage an hour or two of sleep each night.

The pressure from his family was suffocating, leaving him with no room to breathe. The Whitman family might be one of the most powerful families in the country, but with that power came a crushing weight of responsibility.

No one truly understood how much Asher carried on his shoulders. No one, except Lila. She was the only one who saw his struggles, felt his exhaustion, and genuinely cared. Only when Asher held Lila in his arms could he finally let go of the day’s burdens and sleep in peace.

Lila was the cure he had spent half his life searching for. And now, he had thrown his cure away with his own hands. There was no way to find her again. Asher wondered, “Where on earth is Lila?”

Asher lit another cigarette, staring out at the stillness beyond the window. Suddenly, he spotted a tall figure outside.

Without thinking, Asher bolted upright, rushing out the door and grabbing hold of the person.

“Asher, what are you doing? You’re hurting me!”