Chapter 6

May 13, 2023

Remi

Days withered into each other. I didn’t know when it happened, only that one day it seemed as if everything stopped. All the laughter, the love, the hunger for life. None of it mattered anymore. All that remained was a hollow depth of despair that suffocated me.

The immeasurable depths of the ocean became a metaphor for my life, in a constant state of motion, never-ending and never pausing. Even when there was no wind, the waters continued to move, as if they were being guided by an invisible force.

I couldn’t stop it.

I was lost.

I was untethered in a world of darkness, with no anchor in the storm.

My whole life, I’d lived the very nightmare that surrounded me. I would have thought I’d be used to it. But because of him, I knew what the sun felt like. He encompassed me in his warmth, damn near blinding me.

With one action, I thrust myself back into the cavity of the abyss he had pulled me from.

All because I trusted when I shouldn’t.

I should have known better.

I was careless.

I forgot the truth.

That was on me.

Sighing, I stood watching the waters churn angrily, building as if it knew a storm was coming. Maybe it was, I didn’t know, nor did I care. I didn’t care about anything anymore.

“Remi?”

They never left me alone.

I couldn’t think.

They were always there. Hiding in the shadows, eager to help.

I could have told them I wasn’t worth it, if they’d asked.

How could one fix broken glass? Oh, they could try to glue it all back together, but it would never be whole again. The shattered scars of destruction would always be visible.

More importantly, how could one fix something that didn’t want to be fixed?

I couldn’t do it anymore. Everything I had left I gave to him, and he destroyed me. My reason for living was now gone. Now, even my children couldn’t fill the shattered pieces of my heart. On some level, I knew it was wrong, that I should try for Jesse and Emma, but I couldn’t. I was tired of it all. What was the use? Eventually, they would grow, and I’d be back in the same spot I was now.

Alone.

I just didn’t want to anymore.

I was done.

“Remi?” Dakota said, stepping beside me. “Sweetie, it’s raining. You’ve been out here all day. Let’s get you inside and warm.”

Was it raining?

I hadn’t noticed.

Turning to him, I looked at the man hired to protect me and asked, “Why?”

“Why what, honey?”

“Why does it matter?”

“You don’t want to get sick, do you?”

Looking back at the water, I whispered, “It doesn’t matter. Nothing does.”