Begged All You Want, But You Will Never Have Me Back - Chapter 16

“No. No, you’re lying.”

The words left my lips before I could stop them. That couldn’t be true. Xavier had promised that he would come back to me, thus he would do that. He couldn’t be dead. But is that why he was calling me?

I regretted not answering those calls. Why didn’t I wake up? I should have answered his call because he might be asking help during those times!

“That’s not true! Take it back!” I screamed.

Nathan didn’t flinch. He just stood there, watching me with that same unreadable expression he always had when he was hiding something.

But this–this couldn’t be real. I refused** to believe it. I stepped closer, grabbing his collar, my fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket. My breath came in shallow bursts, my heart hammering inside my chest.

“Where is he?” My voice trembled, but my grip did not.”

Nathan exhaled. “Entice-“

“Where is he?!” I screamed, my body shaking.”

Before he could answer, the police arrived. The moment I saw their somber faces, my knees nearly gave out.

One of the officers stepped forward. “Miss Johansen, I’m sorry, but right now, we’re still searching for Xavier Esralde’s body.”

I stilled. His body. As if they had already decided he was gone. A sharp pain spread through my chest, suffocating, paralyzing. “He’s not dead,” I whispered. “He can’t be. You don’t have the body, right? So, no. Do not ever declare and come to me saying he was dead.”

The officer hesitated.

“During the operation, there was a struggle between Xavier and some of Amelia’s hired men. Xavier fell into the water while trying to subdue Amelia. The currents were strong, and the rescue team has been searching for him since last night.”

“No,” I choked out, shaking my head.”

I refused to accept it.”

“There’s no footage?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “Who did that to him? Is that man dead? Where are they?” I was already panicking. I didn’t know what to do. Not Xavier.

Another officer stepped forward. “There were no cameras in that part of the docks. No witnesses who saw where the current took him. We’re doing everything we can, but–“

“But you’ve already given up,” I cut in. “No! You don’t give up on him. I’m willing to waste my money so find him!“

Silence. They looked at me as if it was already a dead end.”

“There has to be something.“

The officer sighed. “We did manage to recapture Amelia. She’s in custody now.“>

Amelia. I should have felt relieved. I should have been satisfied knowing she was finally back behind bars. But I felt nothing. Nothing except the emptiness stretching inside me, clawing at my ribs.

Xavier was gone. And I never told him I loved him. I took a step back, my hands trembling, my entire body numb. We haven’t even gotten married yet. We were supposed to do a lot of things together–no, he couldn’t do this to me!!

“Don’t stop searching,” I ordered, my voice shaking. “You find him. You bring him back to me.“

The officers nodded before leaving.

Nathan stayed. I hated that he stayed. I hated that, in this moment, he was the only one standing beside me.

“I’ll help you,” he said softly. “Whatever you need.“

A bitter laugh escaped my lips.

“Help?” I echoed. “Since when have you ever helped me?“

Nathan said nothing.

I wiped the tears from my face, my hands still shaking.

“I know you, Nathan. You don’t do anything unless there’s something in it for you. And, Xavier was dead? How would I know you didn’t have something to do with this?“

He sighed. “I just want to be here for you. And no, I won’t do that to you knowing you love him. I just really want to make peace with you because I regretted everything. I just realized I love you but it was too late. All I want is for you to be happy.”

I didn’t believe him. Not for a second.

There was something wrong about all of this. And I was going to find out what.

So, instead of pushing him away- I let him stay. I let him think I needed him. I let him believe he was getting close to me again. Because if Nathan had anything to do with Xavier’s disappearance- I was going to destroy him.

Days passed and there was still no progress, no progress and updates about Xavier. The world moved forward, but I was stuck in the unknown.

I spent my nights staring at my phone, waiting for a call that would never come.

Nathan stayed close, pretending to be the supportive ex–husband.

I let him. Because I wasn’t just grieving–I was investigating.

Nathan knew something. I saw it in the way he avoided certain questions, the way his expression flickered when I brought up Xavier’s disappearance.

So, I played my role. The heartbroken woman seeking comfort in the arms of the man who once ruined her.”

I let him believe I was breaking. That I needed him. That he could have me again. But inside, I was waiting because no matter how long it took, I would never betray Xavier.

And I would never stop looking for him.”

Then, finally

Something good happened.

I was sitting beside my mother’s hospital bed, lost in my thoughts, when I felt it.”

A shift in the air and a flicker of movement. Then, a soft gasp.

I froze. Slowly, I turned.”

Her eyes were open. A strangled sob left my lips.

“Mom?”

She blinked, confusion clouding her gaze. “En…tice?“

Tears burned down my cheeks as I grabbed her hand, clutching it tightly.”

“You’re awake,” I whispered. “You’re finally awake.“

Her fingers weakly curled around mine, her voice hoarse. “What… what happened?“

Everything in me shattered.”

I wanted to tell her everything. That she had been in a coma. That I thought I would never hear her voice again. That Xavier was missing.

But I couldn’t speak. I could only cry.”

For the first time in weeks- I could breathe. But the relief was short–lived. Because even though my mother had returned to me, Xavier had not.”

And until I found him, I would never feel whole again.